A turn for the even more interesting.

I got laid off from my place of employment of eight years. They called me into the manager's office one afternoon and told me business was slow, and they had to make some difficult decisions. It was classic. I'm grateful to have had this authenticating experience that would further identify me with the disenfranchised. Although at that point in my window service career I was praying almost daily that God would release me from my drudgery, getting canned was nevertheless disappointing.
As it turns out, the Almighty Ruler of the Universe knew what He was doing again, because I needed almost all my time off to finish strong in my spanish classes this semester. I barely finished all my papers and homework, even without a job. There is one girl who tends the language lab who would let me stay past closing time, clandestinely, and so I would be there typing reports in spanish all alone with the doors locked and the lights out until ten o'clock at night. Afterwards I would hike the half mile back to my van in the dark. Crime is frequent on and around our urban campus but I never saw anyone. And I looked. I don't practice karate on my punching bag every day merely for excercise. Neither was my van ever disturbed. There must be something about a window propped up by a screwdriver that deters the curiosity of thieves. Really, I thank God for protecting me. "If you make the Most High your dwelling- even the Lord, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways"(psalm 91.9-11).
I finished the last month of school tiding myself over with odd jobs. I made A's in my classes. This also I attribute to the grace of God. Clearly he has made my professors favorably disposed toward me.
I've since taken a job with a heat and air company owned by someone from my church family. I spend my days assisting one of his two servicemen, either a sixty-two year old country boy with a curly mullet who can trouble-shoot a condenser unit just by listening to it, or a young, heavily tattooed pentecostal cage-fighter. I really enjoy them both. Also, I had no idea that the science of heating and air conditioning was so fascinating. My life has taken a turn for the even more interesting.

The Simple Life of the Atheist

Life might be simpler if I could be convinced to be an atheist. I wouldn't have to think so hard. I could smugly reduce all religious experience to the power of suggestion, morality to superstitious tradition. Maybe I could use people's religious convictions to manipulate them and have my way. It would be perfectly acceptable for me to be as aloof and inconsiderate as I tend to be; and much more so. In fact, regarding nature, or more specifically random chance and survival of the fittest, as the highest authority, that would be the only reasonable behavior to exhibit. Nevertheless, many atheists seem to spend much time attempting to convince themselves and others that we don't need a god to motivate us toward good deeds and being nice, which would seem to me to be an exercise in hypocrisy. Their altruism betrays the Tao, the Absolute Morality, the crucified and resurrected Messiah from whom all charity and self-sacrificing flow, and perhaps their fear of that Truth. Perhaps we find that helping out our neighbor adds meaning to an otherwise pointless existence in an accidental universe, but for the atheist to do so is to defy the highest authority, which mandates that I allow the weak to be eaten if I don't eat them myself. The Law of Conservation of Mass and Energy tells us everything is winding down, and so the chief end of everything in the universe is to collapse and implode into non-existence. Life would be simpler without heaven, hell, and the God who calls to us, "Here am I, here am I. All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations." Isaiah 65:2

Sunday, 31 December 2006

My three New Year's resolutions are to give more ruthlessly, love more intently, and fear less. It may seem that giving is the only resolution I have any control over, while love and fear are contingent on what God enables me to do. In fact, everything is contingent on soveriegn God's enabling, so an act of giving is no more in my ability than an act of loving or an act of not fearing. Conversely, decisions to love or to be more fearless are no less beyond my range of responsibility than is a choice to give. God is in control, and our greatest and most underesimated power is prayerfully seeking Him in worship, study and meditation, for without Him, as Augustine said, we cannot will to will. All of these-- giving, loving, and fearlessness-- are so closely related as to be intertwined. Ultimately, I want more than just what's right. Doing what's right is for religious people. I want to learn self-sacrifice from the King who endured a cross, and who calls to us, "Follow me."